Yes, I've started a new blog, so none of you people have to deal exclusively with "my take on life". (I intend to make "My take on life" a private affair, as advised by many of my well wishers)
I'm posting the link so that its easily accessible in case you have already book marked this page...(high hopes?!!).
http://shirinajanoos.blogspot.com/
The new blog is aptly(?) named "Cutting Chai !", aimed at delivering short, hot and refreshing doses of on current issues. Hopefully, we enjoy the experience!
See y'all there!
Cheers!!
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Monday, May 04, 2009
Playing cricket or batting for cash and kind?
Yes, Ive been busy, not the lazy busy (ahem ahem), but the real kind...but isn't that my excuse always...so I won't bother apologising this time. Coz, I am going to put in more just to show how much I do intend to write but time management...or rather the lack of it... can truly bog one down...
Thoughts cross my mind, "blog worthy ones" are favourably etched somewhere in that blessedly less used organ and I make promises to my avid readers (read to myself [mostly] ) that I shall pen (or rather type) my views down the next time I go online, which surprisingly has decreased since exams...and i wonder why?...hehheh!
The latest itch I have waiting to type is about the IPL of course. Cricket has firmly established itself into this generation as wholly and sourly as the idea of cable TV. It was always a given to the intelligent Indian that the shorter...(or will it be the shortest?) version of the game (20-20)was going to be an instant HIT... so commercialisation was the way the money making could finally be done. Apart from the branded shoes and bat, the towels, water bottles, head gear, etc...and various other parts of the 'team colours' (read cricket uniform) were strategically labelled so that the companies sponsoring the team ( and their luxuries) get some prime time action...if you know what i MEAN!
But what bothers me is that too much commercialization is no good...now is it?...From when have we started cheering for more "citi moments of success" rather than sixes?? The concept was to encourage the idea of cricketing, not 'Vodaphoning' , i believe. I don't want the next generation to say, 'Yes, the guy endorsing Bournvita got out at 98, just 2 to go before he completed his DLF century!' ~ That would be a tragedy then for the game and its true spirit.
However, commercialisation has its perks as always. I would never have enjoyed a dancing zoozoo more( Vodaphone jingles and impromptu ads) !! So there, advertisements have begun to capture our hearts with lovely and intelligent gibberish...rather than mundane stuff...thank god for that!
Thinking of the Ad industry, it makes me wonder how else do those people related to this field get some inspiration? Do they carefully observe people trends. Then I think Ive got views that may make news (old maybe) for them! So i think Ill keep this for the next time I'll blog, just to increase my already large...(the effects of positive thinking) readership and to captivate my audience's attention. Also that my eyes are closing and lack of concentration adds to boring reading for you guys!
Okay then, till next time...watch this space!
Thoughts cross my mind, "blog worthy ones" are favourably etched somewhere in that blessedly less used organ and I make promises to my avid readers (read to myself [mostly] ) that I shall pen (or rather type) my views down the next time I go online, which surprisingly has decreased since exams...and i wonder why?...hehheh!
The latest itch I have waiting to type is about the IPL of course. Cricket has firmly established itself into this generation as wholly and sourly as the idea of cable TV. It was always a given to the intelligent Indian that the shorter...(or will it be the shortest?) version of the game (20-20)was going to be an instant HIT... so commercialisation was the way the money making could finally be done. Apart from the branded shoes and bat, the towels, water bottles, head gear, etc...and various other parts of the 'team colours' (read cricket uniform) were strategically labelled so that the companies sponsoring the team ( and their luxuries) get some prime time action...if you know what i MEAN!
But what bothers me is that too much commercialization is no good...now is it?...From when have we started cheering for more "citi moments of success" rather than sixes?? The concept was to encourage the idea of cricketing, not 'Vodaphoning' , i believe. I don't want the next generation to say, 'Yes, the guy endorsing Bournvita got out at 98, just 2 to go before he completed his DLF century!' ~ That would be a tragedy then for the game and its true spirit.
However, commercialisation has its perks as always. I would never have enjoyed a dancing zoozoo more( Vodaphone jingles and impromptu ads) !! So there, advertisements have begun to capture our hearts with lovely and intelligent gibberish...rather than mundane stuff...thank god for that!
Thinking of the Ad industry, it makes me wonder how else do those people related to this field get some inspiration? Do they carefully observe people trends. Then I think Ive got views that may make news (old maybe) for them! So i think Ill keep this for the next time I'll blog, just to increase my already large...(the effects of positive thinking) readership and to captivate my audience's attention. Also that my eyes are closing and lack of concentration adds to boring reading for you guys!
Okay then, till next time...watch this space!
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Elvis, my dear...
This letter is addressed to The king. We all know his history( those who dont look up: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elvis_Presley)
Ive made it an open letter so that people with similar(or different opinions) can get a platform to air their thoughts about the guy who rocked the 50's, 60's and 70's with his unconventional rock 'n' roll, in times where ballads of Frank Sinatra and the beetles ruled the roost and hip shaking was considered as satanic movements perverting the youth....
His voice was just magic, he did ballads, pop, blues and gospel music justice.
Dear Elvis,
How have you been? Hope He i treating you well, and you are getting all that you deserve and more.
I write today with lots of joy and a little remorse. Joy because as always, your songs have brought that smile on my lips and made me forget the tension piercing through my brain...Yes, its that of the year when the students, your homie crowd, feel claustrophobic. You got it, its exam fever. Your 'moody blue' serves a great reliever here. We also adore your 'my way'.
Remorse is felt because I feel people are forgetting all about you. People no more find your music enlightening. Its all old and tawdry for most. Oh dear, thats when I wonder shuddering~will there ever be a time when people may say 'Elvis, who?' Will there ever be a time when a guy wont think of 'are you lonesome' or forget about 'Spanish eyes' while thinking of his girl?? Or falling in love, will it ever be the same without fools rushing in singing your classic?
Or will there ever be a party without 'jailhouse rock' or 'king creole' ?, I dread to imagine.
But something tells me, you will never be completely forgotten, no matter how much John Mayers or Chris Daughtry may try, you'll always remain this girl's favorite rock and roll star, who rose against all odds and died an unfortunate and untimely death. I shall 'stand by you' always...
Perennially looking forward to your songs,
Shirin.
Ive made it an open letter so that people with similar(or different opinions) can get a platform to air their thoughts about the guy who rocked the 50's, 60's and 70's with his unconventional rock 'n' roll, in times where ballads of Frank Sinatra and the beetles ruled the roost and hip shaking was considered as satanic movements perverting the youth....
His voice was just magic, he did ballads, pop, blues and gospel music justice.
Dear Elvis,
How have you been? Hope He i treating you well, and you are getting all that you deserve and more.
I write today with lots of joy and a little remorse. Joy because as always, your songs have brought that smile on my lips and made me forget the tension piercing through my brain...Yes, its that of the year when the students, your homie crowd, feel claustrophobic. You got it, its exam fever. Your 'moody blue' serves a great reliever here. We also adore your 'my way'.
Remorse is felt because I feel people are forgetting all about you. People no more find your music enlightening. Its all old and tawdry for most. Oh dear, thats when I wonder shuddering~will there ever be a time when people may say 'Elvis, who?' Will there ever be a time when a guy wont think of 'are you lonesome' or forget about 'Spanish eyes' while thinking of his girl?? Or falling in love, will it ever be the same without fools rushing in singing your classic?
Or will there ever be a party without 'jailhouse rock' or 'king creole' ?, I dread to imagine.
But something tells me, you will never be completely forgotten, no matter how much John Mayers or Chris Daughtry may try, you'll always remain this girl's favorite rock and roll star, who rose against all odds and died an unfortunate and untimely death. I shall 'stand by you' always...
Perennially looking forward to your songs,
Shirin.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Whats the fuss abt??
The Indian middle class is not the same what it was just a decade back. They were then branded as conservative and thrifty people. Not anymore, India’s middle class is now dynamic, educated, liberal and form the pillars of this vibrant Indian economy (due to their spending nature)
Here are the 10 facts that you may not know about Indian middle class:
1. An average family of 4.3 people live typically in a 900 sf apartment; 71% own properties, but only 9% have a mortgage
2. 29% own cars, 100% of households have TVs, 99% have mobile phones and 63% have credit cards (rapidly changing)
3. Household savings are low at 13% of annual income; mainly to meet emergency needs, health care and education costs.
4. Risk aversion is high: 84% have not taken loans, only 11% have invested in equities (this is changing fast)
5. Land and properties account for 51% of wealth, with 30% in cash and deposits
6. Half of households have seen their income rise in the past 12 months, of which one third saw income rise more than 20% (this trend was observed in 2007, before recession took its toll on the U.S., now the pics all different as one might read in all the dailies...time to activate thrifty genes?!)
7. 63% of respondents expect their income to increase in the next 12 months (NOT anymore, the pink slip fear is at its epitome)
8. Slightly more than half say governance has worsened in the past 10 years; improving the economy and reducing corruption are seen as top priorities for the government.
9. Children’s future and education a key concern and priority; other major concerns are rising prices and medical costs
10. Very high aspirations for children with 43% wanting their kids to get a master’s degree and 29% a doctorate
Source: CLSA
"10 facts you should know about Indian middle class" by Arun Prabhudesai was published on September 10th and is listed in Growth, Income, India, Indian, Indians, Top list, economy.
Interpretation:
>1. Procreate less, generate more income. Don't mortgage anything you already own unless absolutely necessary...which brings us to No. 2.
>2. Loans, if possible, should be avoided as the plague...No matter how enticing it may seem, its better to eat less now than starve later.
>3. The nano has arrived, but thats not the answer to all the prayers. Buy one only with rational thought. Its not something to hoard and store, so what if its cheap, fuel isn't for free.
>4. Start being penny and pound wise. Invest safely and carefully. Save more. Money can't buy happiness, but it can surely buy a lots of other things ;)
>5. Gold is the new thing to invest in, it seems. Be smart, not impulsive. Theres a right time to part with the old and ring in the new.
>6. Vote, vote...thats all they say. Reading proficiently proves NO ONE worthy enough, so i guess in the kingdom of the blind, the one eyed jack is king ;/
>7. The Great Indian Middle Class loves their kids , but what do the kids love? No foreign education can secure any MNC job in today's world. Look closely, our system is on revamp.(Or so they make us believe). Stick closer to home, its always more convenient not to dig real deep in the pocket.
>8. Highly educated = highly paid jobs??? Is it? (Mostly not the case) But, for ol' time's sake, lets wait and watch that one out.
THERE, that's pretty simple, or so it seems. The recession HITS everyone. But one must believe its a passing phase and all those hard earned rupees will not disappear into thin air, if its hard earned that is... Easy money, easy to lose, hard to keep.
Hopefully the G.I.M.C. ties its laces, before they trip on them. Now, whats the fuss about again?
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Pooh-neigh...
The city where I belong. I can go on singing praises about my birthplace and the place where I grew up and spent the most magical days of my life…pondering over which I stumbled across this forum on facebook claiming that “You know you are from Pune when…”, however, I don’t agree to all that was written, so I didn’t join the forum, but I picked up a few lines here and there, which I thought were most apt to describe my quirky city. I know for a fact that Pune cannot be a bed of roses, but nonetheless, it’s one of the best this world has to offer. *(P.S. Im currently a resident of Mumbai, so the last line just applies.)
So here goes… and I’m trying not to be biased.
Places:
1. Koregaon Park and M. G. are still the coolest areas for you to hang out in.
2. You've spent hours at SGS Magnum Mall, Pune Central and Nucleus.
3. At some point in time you’ve always wanted to live in Kalyani nagar, Koregaon park or Salisbury park
4. You love the expressway! You say, 'The Expressway is truly a boon. Mumbai and Pune are now close, that Mumbai is almost a suburb of Pune’.
5. The default thought in everyone's mind on a holiday is "lets go to Khadakwasla/ Sihnhagad/Panseth/ our farmhouse"
6. Pimpri, Chinchwad, Pashan and Nigdi are far.
7. You have spent numerous weekends in Panchgani and Mahabaleshwar.
8. You keep spotting the famous eunuch of MG road & East Street every time you go there.
Lingo:
9. You know what “ikde”, “thamba”,” kutey” and “mala” mean.
10. When you are not studying, you are doing "VELAGIRI" or "LUKHAGIRI".
11. you refer to change as "Chillar", ditching as "Kalti" and trouble as "Jhol"
12. Every time you speak Hindi in front of a Delhitite they have the WTF expression on their face
13. You refer to cops as Mamu and bus conductors and old men as Kaka.
14. Every time you look at a cop you mentally check how much cash you have on you.
15. When u call cops kaka, they let u go if you show off your marathi speaking skills.
16. When you associate the following words to...
· Wada Pav - JJ Garden’s.
· Mithai – Karachi/ Mulchand.
· Public Transport – Rickshaw
· Extended public transport - Six Seater Rickshaw
· Poor public transport - P.M.T. bus.
· Thursday - Power Cut!
Lifestyle:
17. You speak intelligently.
18. You own/ed a two-wheeler, especially an activa or a deo (women), a hero-honda or a splendour (men)
19. Every 3-4 months u look at your road and wonder.. " why the hell are these guys digging up the road again. Thus at one point of time, some area or the other is always under repairs…roads/flyover/bridge.
20. Always keep an eye on the rickshaw meter to assure it is correct.
21. Where most girls on bikes/ scooters will have a scarf around their face looking like "daku mangal singh or Phoolan devi"
22. You see gals in ABCD jeans sticking to their boyfriends like parasites on bikes....abcd jeans = agga bai chaddi distey jeans!!!
23. You wear/have worn Osho Chappals. Ahh. . .the comfort.
24. Jogging laps around race course is your idea of a healthy life.
Opinions:
25. You are laid back but have lots of tolerance & patience dealing with & accepting Oshoites, foreign college students & other foreigners.
26. You can recognize a "mumbaikar" from his dress & behaviour.
27. You've said or thought "those Bombayites have ruined the peace of Pune"
28. Nobody gets their air, oil & water checked while filling petrol in their cars except the visiting mumbaikars.
29. You don't need to have the seat belt clasped while driving your car.
30. You can drive in the night with no or dim street lights on & full head lights on of cars & trucks approaching you from the opposite side....something a mumbaikar can never get used to.
31. You know someone who works at a Call Center / BPO/ IT Park
Weather:
32. You have had experienced amazing weather in evenings.
33. You wish for the crazy rain to stop during monsoon .
34. It rains in one part of town that you are in.. and by the time you get to where you’re headed that place is absolutely dry .. and you are soaking wet!!
35. You are unable to decide whether potholes are in roads or VICE VERSA.
36. You are sick and tired of the pollution.
37. You wonder what will happen to the city if there are still more cars on the road.(i think traffic will cum to a stand still in a few years).
Road Sense:
38. Traffic Rules are as follows:
· Motorists change lanes arbitrarily
· Vehicles on your right/left change lanes without warning
· Motorists run the red light
· Motorists take their time to move on green light
· Everyone honks like crazy cause everyone's driving like an idiot
39. When you see the light turn orange from green; instead of slowing down u speed up to catch the signal.
40. When u never cross the road at a zebra crossing.
41. When u can always find a car that has a dent or scratch on it.
Food:
42. You’ve waited patiently for a table at Blue Nile to have your biryani.
43. You've eaten Bun Maska at an Irani café.
44. Sat at a table in vaishali with people peering over your head waiting for you to finish eating
45. No matter where you ate Pav Bhaji you still crave for the one from Shiv Sagar on JM Road
46. Your potato wafers had to come from Budhrani on MG Road
47. When the best burgers and Shawarma rolls were always from Burger King or Hite bar
48. You swear by the sizzlers at Zamus or The place
49. Kathi rolls had to come from Kapila or Olympia
50. Bhelpuri, SDBP, etc. is always Murli Uncle, the Victory theatre guy, Kalyan Bhel and Jai Shankar(Camp) too are equally good.
51. You buy biscuits for ur relatives from kayani bakery, camp when they are in pune
52. No matter which part of the world you are if you see a packet of bhakarwadi by Chitale Bandhu at a supermarket you still pick it up with a smile
53. You are amazed at how Kalyani nagar has changed
54. Different cuisine restaurants keep opening & closing at koregaon park & kalyani nagar.
55. You've tried unsucessfully finishing two jumbo chicken burgers at Burger King.
And finally,You curse the city every day of your lives when living there, but if u ever move out you talk of Pune as the beginning and end of civilisation.
So here goes… and I’m trying not to be biased.
Places:
1. Koregaon Park and M. G. are still the coolest areas for you to hang out in.
2. You've spent hours at SGS Magnum Mall, Pune Central and Nucleus.
3. At some point in time you’ve always wanted to live in Kalyani nagar, Koregaon park or Salisbury park
4. You love the expressway! You say, 'The Expressway is truly a boon. Mumbai and Pune are now close, that Mumbai is almost a suburb of Pune’.
5. The default thought in everyone's mind on a holiday is "lets go to Khadakwasla/ Sihnhagad/Panseth/ our farmhouse"
6. Pimpri, Chinchwad, Pashan and Nigdi are far.
7. You have spent numerous weekends in Panchgani and Mahabaleshwar.
8. You keep spotting the famous eunuch of MG road & East Street every time you go there.
Lingo:
9. You know what “ikde”, “thamba”,” kutey” and “mala” mean.
10. When you are not studying, you are doing "VELAGIRI" or "LUKHAGIRI".
11. you refer to change as "Chillar", ditching as "Kalti" and trouble as "Jhol"
12. Every time you speak Hindi in front of a Delhitite they have the WTF expression on their face
13. You refer to cops as Mamu and bus conductors and old men as Kaka.
14. Every time you look at a cop you mentally check how much cash you have on you.
15. When u call cops kaka, they let u go if you show off your marathi speaking skills.
16. When you associate the following words to...
· Wada Pav - JJ Garden’s.
· Mithai – Karachi/ Mulchand.
· Public Transport – Rickshaw
· Extended public transport - Six Seater Rickshaw
· Poor public transport - P.M.T. bus.
· Thursday - Power Cut!
Lifestyle:
17. You speak intelligently.
18. You own/ed a two-wheeler, especially an activa or a deo (women), a hero-honda or a splendour (men)
19. Every 3-4 months u look at your road and wonder.. " why the hell are these guys digging up the road again. Thus at one point of time, some area or the other is always under repairs…roads/flyover/bridge.
20. Always keep an eye on the rickshaw meter to assure it is correct.
21. Where most girls on bikes/ scooters will have a scarf around their face looking like "daku mangal singh or Phoolan devi"
22. You see gals in ABCD jeans sticking to their boyfriends like parasites on bikes....abcd jeans = agga bai chaddi distey jeans!!!
23. You wear/have worn Osho Chappals. Ahh. . .the comfort.
24. Jogging laps around race course is your idea of a healthy life.
Opinions:
25. You are laid back but have lots of tolerance & patience dealing with & accepting Oshoites, foreign college students & other foreigners.
26. You can recognize a "mumbaikar" from his dress & behaviour.
27. You've said or thought "those Bombayites have ruined the peace of Pune"
28. Nobody gets their air, oil & water checked while filling petrol in their cars except the visiting mumbaikars.
29. You don't need to have the seat belt clasped while driving your car.
30. You can drive in the night with no or dim street lights on & full head lights on of cars & trucks approaching you from the opposite side....something a mumbaikar can never get used to.
31. You know someone who works at a Call Center / BPO/ IT Park
Weather:
32. You have had experienced amazing weather in evenings.
33. You wish for the crazy rain to stop during monsoon .
34. It rains in one part of town that you are in.. and by the time you get to where you’re headed that place is absolutely dry .. and you are soaking wet!!
35. You are unable to decide whether potholes are in roads or VICE VERSA.
36. You are sick and tired of the pollution.
37. You wonder what will happen to the city if there are still more cars on the road.(i think traffic will cum to a stand still in a few years).
Road Sense:
38. Traffic Rules are as follows:
· Motorists change lanes arbitrarily
· Vehicles on your right/left change lanes without warning
· Motorists run the red light
· Motorists take their time to move on green light
· Everyone honks like crazy cause everyone's driving like an idiot
39. When you see the light turn orange from green; instead of slowing down u speed up to catch the signal.
40. When u never cross the road at a zebra crossing.
41. When u can always find a car that has a dent or scratch on it.
Food:
42. You’ve waited patiently for a table at Blue Nile to have your biryani.
43. You've eaten Bun Maska at an Irani café.
44. Sat at a table in vaishali with people peering over your head waiting for you to finish eating
45. No matter where you ate Pav Bhaji you still crave for the one from Shiv Sagar on JM Road
46. Your potato wafers had to come from Budhrani on MG Road
47. When the best burgers and Shawarma rolls were always from Burger King or Hite bar
48. You swear by the sizzlers at Zamus or The place
49. Kathi rolls had to come from Kapila or Olympia
50. Bhelpuri, SDBP, etc. is always Murli Uncle, the Victory theatre guy, Kalyan Bhel and Jai Shankar(Camp) too are equally good.
51. You buy biscuits for ur relatives from kayani bakery, camp when they are in pune
52. No matter which part of the world you are if you see a packet of bhakarwadi by Chitale Bandhu at a supermarket you still pick it up with a smile
53. You are amazed at how Kalyani nagar has changed
54. Different cuisine restaurants keep opening & closing at koregaon park & kalyani nagar.
55. You've tried unsucessfully finishing two jumbo chicken burgers at Burger King.
And finally,You curse the city every day of your lives when living there, but if u ever move out you talk of Pune as the beginning and end of civilisation.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
A little late...
Today, I finally have found both the time and the will to write something in my blog.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve written and my readers {?} have been considerate enough as to understand how busy I’ve been during the last six months or so.
Firstly, I’d like to inform all my {so called} readers that I am currently a part of Nirmala Niketan, Mumbai University…the University I have so blatantly admonished a few articles below. Life since then has been a coaster ride for me. I cannot even begin to describe how I got through and the kismet konnection thereby involved. I’d however only be just by giving astrology some due credit of my being enrolled in the only course in India offering Foods, Nutrition and Dietetics as a subject combination for the Masters level…(not trying to brag).
So yes, Im living in the heart of this magnificent city—SOBO.
And how can I not mention the terror filled days of 26-27-28/11.
I have lived safely through them and I am truly grateful to God. I also am humbled by the emotions I’ve seen people go through. The only thing I wish to say here is that: Great cities are not built by great architecture, great politicians or great ideas but by the greatness of the people living within…This is my tribute to the city I have started to love.
On to brighter topics...We got our guides today. Yes, I’m actively involved in research now that I’m doing my masters. Dr. Subhadra is one of the most qualified people living on the third rock from the sun and I’m truly blessed to have her as a mentor. The process of efficient research is gruelling and it can take a part of one’s soul towards the end. All that I can possibly pray for is a smooth ride, one which I enjoy and fondly remember as time flows by.
Till the next time…
It’s been quite a while since I’ve written and my readers {?} have been considerate enough as to understand how busy I’ve been during the last six months or so.
Firstly, I’d like to inform all my {so called} readers that I am currently a part of Nirmala Niketan, Mumbai University…the University I have so blatantly admonished a few articles below. Life since then has been a coaster ride for me. I cannot even begin to describe how I got through and the kismet konnection thereby involved. I’d however only be just by giving astrology some due credit of my being enrolled in the only course in India offering Foods, Nutrition and Dietetics as a subject combination for the Masters level…(not trying to brag).
So yes, Im living in the heart of this magnificent city—SOBO.
And how can I not mention the terror filled days of 26-27-28/11.
I have lived safely through them and I am truly grateful to God. I also am humbled by the emotions I’ve seen people go through. The only thing I wish to say here is that: Great cities are not built by great architecture, great politicians or great ideas but by the greatness of the people living within…This is my tribute to the city I have started to love.
On to brighter topics...We got our guides today. Yes, I’m actively involved in research now that I’m doing my masters. Dr. Subhadra is one of the most qualified people living on the third rock from the sun and I’m truly blessed to have her as a mentor. The process of efficient research is gruelling and it can take a part of one’s soul towards the end. All that I can possibly pray for is a smooth ride, one which I enjoy and fondly remember as time flows by.
Till the next time…
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Fragility.
Topic:Fragility (21 june)
Handle with care.
Handle with care.
She got her birthday gift. ”Handle with care”, it read. A glass ballerina, from the glass maker. How predictable, she lamented. Her father’s creation, she knew that for sure. It was his work. She placed it carelessly on her desktop. She pretended not to care.
‘When was the last time you called dad?’ a voice kept screaming in her head all day. She tried to remember. But to no avail. The only thing she remembered was the last time she had heard his voice yelling from the other room, cursing her. “God, focus Avanti, focus”, she kept muttering to herself. She could not go wrong now, not here, she had a point to prove.
As a child, she never had had this problem. She could go on concentrating beyond all her friends. When her teachers thought most of the students were fatigued with the subject, Avanti was always the one to coax them to continue. But today, she was tired, fatigued and irritable. “Where is the nurse…? Why is everybody so bloody tired and lazy…” she was yelling again, just like her dad. She did not want to realize that they had been working for 48hrs now.
The earth had moved suddenly that day. Unawares, many had been swallowed into the ground. Many lay there in their tombs, breathing their last breaths, waiting. She wondered what if….”NO , don’t be distracted…”, she almost yelled that out too. She was talking to herself again.
And then she did it. The heart of the man who lay beneath her fingers did the most natural thing it could do. Beat. With every beat she began to smile. “Yes, dad will be so proud!” she exclaimed in her mind. She could go on forever now. The fatigue had vanished. She was happy again.
‘Trrriing'..
‘Triiiing’..
“Hello”
“Yes, that’s me, his daughter”
“ohh…..ok”
“I’ll be there by noon tomorrow”
“The funeral must start as early as possible, I have a lot of patients here who need my help”
‘When was the last time you called dad?’ a voice kept screaming in her head all day. She tried to remember. But to no avail. The only thing she remembered was the last time she had heard his voice yelling from the other room, cursing her. “God, focus Avanti, focus”, she kept muttering to herself. She could not go wrong now, not here, she had a point to prove.
As a child, she never had had this problem. She could go on concentrating beyond all her friends. When her teachers thought most of the students were fatigued with the subject, Avanti was always the one to coax them to continue. But today, she was tired, fatigued and irritable. “Where is the nurse…? Why is everybody so bloody tired and lazy…” she was yelling again, just like her dad. She did not want to realize that they had been working for 48hrs now.
The earth had moved suddenly that day. Unawares, many had been swallowed into the ground. Many lay there in their tombs, breathing their last breaths, waiting. She wondered what if….”NO , don’t be distracted…”, she almost yelled that out too. She was talking to herself again.
And then she did it. The heart of the man who lay beneath her fingers did the most natural thing it could do. Beat. With every beat she began to smile. “Yes, dad will be so proud!” she exclaimed in her mind. She could go on forever now. The fatigue had vanished. She was happy again.
‘Trrriing'..
‘Triiiing’..
“Hello”
“Yes, that’s me, his daughter”
“ohh…..ok”
“I’ll be there by noon tomorrow”
“The funeral must start as early as possible, I have a lot of patients here who need my help”
Suddenly, the glass on the table top fell. The ballerina lay on the floor, shattered in remorseful million pieces.
Reviews:
Abbas: Shirin
This was a delicate theme that it seems like you rushed through which is sad because this was exploding with potential. You need to keep us in the space of this woman. We should be the fly on her wall.
Another thing that struck me was the coldness of this woman on receiving the news that her father has expired. I take it that she was a doctor but still it was her father. I would have loved to see you do something more with the moment that she receives the news. I would have to see the very human side of a doctor who after battling courageously for 48 hours snaps to indicate a fragility that is altogether humane, altogether real. Then, the ballerina shattering in a million pieces would have had a more profound effect. It would go beyond merely metaphor to the regions of symbolism.
Great stuff Shirin, but this could have been sublime.
Reviews:
Abbas: Shirin
This was a delicate theme that it seems like you rushed through which is sad because this was exploding with potential. You need to keep us in the space of this woman. We should be the fly on her wall.
Another thing that struck me was the coldness of this woman on receiving the news that her father has expired. I take it that she was a doctor but still it was her father. I would have loved to see you do something more with the moment that she receives the news. I would have to see the very human side of a doctor who after battling courageously for 48 hours snaps to indicate a fragility that is altogether humane, altogether real. Then, the ballerina shattering in a million pieces would have had a more profound effect. It would go beyond merely metaphor to the regions of symbolism.
Great stuff Shirin, but this could have been sublime.
@abbas
I like to write short stuff. Sorry to make it seem rushed.
Okay, and I think I screwed the end. I intended for 'the ballerina' to be the symbol of Avanti, and I think I got that a bit.
But what I actually wanted to depict in the end was ; that Avanti was so upset "she" suddenly and forcefully dropped the ballerina from the table...implying the anger she had within herself for:
a. Not listening to her intuition.
b. For trying to keep her nerves on the phone, when she actually wanted to scream.(The woman was not intended for to be cold, only too well disciplined)
c.For the loss of the man who had thoughfully given her the ballerina.
Guess I was trying for the 'in between the lines' effect...
Nikhil: @ Shirin Nicely written
Amrita: Shirin I found your piece woefully short and abrupt. There were so many undercurrents below the surface of your words, but you did not work hard enough to bring them to the top. I find your piece fascinating in what it could become, not what it already is.
Mukta: Shirin: I liked this a lot. The terse manner of delivery hits the story home. A snapshot of a disturbing incident... I thought the lack of emotion displayed by the girl at the climax was a good move, it gives a little drama, a sense of mystery at her character- although I felt that you could have heightened this by showing a bit more internal talk of the confusing emotions she had for her father. ( I want to interpret it as not just she is too callous or busy to take time out to talk to him, but also maybe that they had a more complex relationship, I saw hints of that , I dont know if you intended this). Again her nononsense attitude towards work is complimented by her lack of display of emotions- too tired or just too hit by everything, she doesnt show her emotions. Good stuff.
Anthropomorphic: Shirin:Crisp. Starts of a bit typically, but ends satisfactorily. I loved the part where the man's heart begins to beat again. Also, need to proofread and eliminate some punctuation errors.
Shirin:
@ everybody who commented:Thanks for sharing your 'pearls of wisdom'.
Hopefully, the next one I write will come off satisfactory to most*
Till then, Cheers.
I like to write short stuff. Sorry to make it seem rushed.
Okay, and I think I screwed the end. I intended for 'the ballerina' to be the symbol of Avanti, and I think I got that a bit.
But what I actually wanted to depict in the end was ; that Avanti was so upset "she" suddenly and forcefully dropped the ballerina from the table...implying the anger she had within herself for:
a. Not listening to her intuition.
b. For trying to keep her nerves on the phone, when she actually wanted to scream.(The woman was not intended for to be cold, only too well disciplined)
c.For the loss of the man who had thoughfully given her the ballerina.
Guess I was trying for the 'in between the lines' effect...
Nikhil: @ Shirin Nicely written
Amrita: Shirin I found your piece woefully short and abrupt. There were so many undercurrents below the surface of your words, but you did not work hard enough to bring them to the top. I find your piece fascinating in what it could become, not what it already is.
Mukta: Shirin: I liked this a lot. The terse manner of delivery hits the story home. A snapshot of a disturbing incident... I thought the lack of emotion displayed by the girl at the climax was a good move, it gives a little drama, a sense of mystery at her character- although I felt that you could have heightened this by showing a bit more internal talk of the confusing emotions she had for her father. ( I want to interpret it as not just she is too callous or busy to take time out to talk to him, but also maybe that they had a more complex relationship, I saw hints of that , I dont know if you intended this). Again her nononsense attitude towards work is complimented by her lack of display of emotions- too tired or just too hit by everything, she doesnt show her emotions. Good stuff.
Anthropomorphic: Shirin:Crisp. Starts of a bit typically, but ends satisfactorily. I loved the part where the man's heart begins to beat again. Also, need to proofread and eliminate some punctuation errors.
Shirin:
@ everybody who commented:Thanks for sharing your 'pearls of wisdom'.
Hopefully, the next one I write will come off satisfactory to most*
Till then, Cheers.
Votes : 1...yay!
Akshay:
“Handle with care” springs entirely panoplied. It was largely a good work. The plot was appealing. The introduction, the rising action, the falling action and the denouement was given a good shape. The outcome is so much evident. I loved the struggle the protagonist goes through - the internal conflict - which I personally look for and highly prize in every story I read. It is the opposition of forces which ties one incident to another and makes the plot move. The story neatly cuts through the layers to expose the bare face of the environment Avanti is in. Also, the structural aspect - mixing of long with short sentences - did stand for a noticeably good flow. Mostly, it did not seem larger than life, but I wonder why did the ballerina “suddenly” fall? Based on how imaginatively the writers indulged into the central idea - fragility - I think Shirin did an impressive work. I wish if the character of the protagonist could have been revealed better. All in all, I feel it was a good piece (Gosh…Do I envy)
“Handle with care” springs entirely panoplied. It was largely a good work. The plot was appealing. The introduction, the rising action, the falling action and the denouement was given a good shape. The outcome is so much evident. I loved the struggle the protagonist goes through - the internal conflict - which I personally look for and highly prize in every story I read. It is the opposition of forces which ties one incident to another and makes the plot move. The story neatly cuts through the layers to expose the bare face of the environment Avanti is in. Also, the structural aspect - mixing of long with short sentences - did stand for a noticeably good flow. Mostly, it did not seem larger than life, but I wonder why did the ballerina “suddenly” fall? Based on how imaginatively the writers indulged into the central idea - fragility - I think Shirin did an impressive work. I wish if the character of the protagonist could have been revealed better. All in all, I feel it was a good piece (Gosh…Do I envy)
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